What Christmas Would Have Been

Leaning on an empty bar chair
you were there on Christmas day
a subtle smile lit up your eyes.
Smelling like Canadian club and ginger,
the way you said ‘I love you’ hung in the air,
mulling my heart with warmth for colder days.
I wasn’t performing for
the shadow of a father,
a different family
who never quite got how loving works.
Who never quite knew what daughters have to give.